An Australian “sexuality educator” has sparked a heated online debate by suggesting that parents should ask their baby for consent before changing diapers.

Deanne Carson’s perspective, aimed at fostering a “culture of consent” from birth, has been met with both curiosity and skepticism. Some online users responded humorously, with one asking if they should also “get consent from their cat to change the litter tray.”

In today’s rapidly evolving world of parenting, discussions around consent are entering areas previously unconsidered—like diaper changes.

While asking an infant for permission might seem impractical, given that babies cannot respond verbally, Carson emphasizes that it’s about establishing the concept of consent and respectful boundaries early on.

Carson, who identifies as a “sexuality educator, speaker, and author” on social media, insists that teaching consent starts from day one, laying a foundation for future interactions based on respect and communication.

Deanne Carson explains that the core idea behind her suggestion is to foster respect for a child’s body and autonomy. By narrating their actions—such as saying, “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?”—and pausing to observe body language, parents can introduce the concept of personal agency even to very young children.

Building Trust and Communication
Carson emphasizes that this approach isn’t about waiting for a verbal “yes” from an infant, but rather about creating a two-way communication pathway.

“Of course, a baby isn’t going to say, ‘Yes, mum, that sounds fantastic; I’d love to have my nappy changed,’” Carson explained in an interview with Australia’s ABC network. “But if you pause, make eye contact, and observe their body language, you’re signaling to the child that their response matters.”

This practice aligns with advice from pediatricians and early childhood experts who stress the importance of responding to a baby’s non-verbal cues, such as coos, movements, and giggles. Incorporating consent into routines like diaper changes, Carson argues, helps foster awareness and involves the baby in the process, even in small ways.

Criticism and Controversy
However, not everyone agrees with Carson’s approach. Critics argue that the idea of asking a baby for consent is impractical and unnecessary, with some labeling it as overreach.

Rowan Dean, editor of The Spectator Australia, called it “lefty lunacy,” while psychologist and parenting columnist John Rosemond criticized Carson’s idea as “the most bizarre of all time.”

“Not long ago, anyone proposing that parents ask infants for consent to change diapers would have been dismissed as deranged,” Rosemond wrote in the Reno Gazette Journal. “Carson’s so-called ‘culture of consent’ risks creating family dynamics of confusion, mistrust, and dysfunction.”

Mockery Online
Carson’s remarks ignited a wave of reactions online, with many users ridiculing her ideas and questioning her expertise.

One commenter wrote, “Pretty sure a crying baby with a full diaper is giving consent—actually, more like a demand.” Another added, “This so-called ‘expert’ clearly has no experience with kids. Babies need care, not permission.”

Others criticized the practicality of Carson’s suggestion. “Do you need consent from your cat to change its litter box? No. If it stinks, clean it. Same goes for a baby,” said one user. Another commented, “Leaving a baby in a dirty diaper is legally recognized as child abuse. Does this ‘expert’ endorse neglect? She’s more dangerous than anti-vaxxers.”

Despite the backlash, Carson’s statements have sparked broader discussions about parenting practices, communication, and the concept of consent, even if the majority remain skeptical of her approach.

'Sexuality expert' says parents should ask for baby's consent when changing nappies.

Yes, really… pic.twitter.com/iR6wUfP87i

— Sunrise (@sunriseon7) May 10, 2018

Some people came to Carson’s defense, arguing that her intentions were good, even if her example was poorly chosen.

One commenter wrote, “I’m honestly surprised by the backlash you’ve received. Babies and toddlers communicate well before they can talk. Thank you for putting up with the trolls to open up this dialogue. Even if your example isn’t perfect, what harm is there in teaching respect?”

Another added, “I think she’s trying to start a conversation about teaching consent to children, but her example went too far. Babies can’t consent—they’re babies! Their safety and basic needs are assumed.”

A third agreed with Carson, saying, “It’s simple to talk to your baby and foster an environment of consent at home.”

While the debate continues, many agree on the importance of mindfulness and communication with infants, even if it isn’t directly about consent.

Ultimately, whether to “ask” for consent may depend on individual parenting styles and preferences. For some, it’s a way to encourage respect and build a loving relationship with their child. For others, simply observing, engaging, and responding to a baby’s cues may feel more natural.

What do you think about Carson’s suggestion that parents ask for a baby’s permission during diaper changes? Share your thoughts and pass along this story to hear more opinions!